Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
