I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
