oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
