Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
