Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
