he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
