I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
