Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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