You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
