I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
