it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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