Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
