Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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