It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
