This girl is more easily done than said...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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