She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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