I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
