I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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