forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
