we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
