So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
