btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
