Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
