My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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