Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
