TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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