the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm like, not good at living.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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