I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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