shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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