You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
