Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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