Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
