You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
