Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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