I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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