He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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