Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
