My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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