After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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