CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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