by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
