the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
