Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
