If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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