Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
