What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
