Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
