What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
