The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
