I want to walk on stilts...naked
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
