i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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