fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
