I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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